That’s not the way WE do it.

With just a few hours to go before we sit down to our traditional Passover Seder, I ponder that Jewish holidays – with all their traditions (read: “favorite foods”) – can prove to be exercises in negotiation, accommodation and capitulation. Perhaps none more so than Passover.

Assuming both halves of a couple come from traditional backgrounds, each will have his or her “own” way of doing things. And, truth be told, deviating from that with which one grew up is, understandably, uncomfortable.

But, this year, I had an epiphany.

Saying something like: “That’s not the way we do it” is a backward-looking statement. As a parent, I recognize my job isn’t to recreate what I grew up with – albeit wonderful, warm and delicious – for my children, but rather to make sure THEY create their own lifetime memories, around the sights, smells and tastes they are now experiencing.

In a few minutes we will pack up the car and drive to a house my in-laws rented for their three children and all their families. My kids will get to hang with all of their “mommy-side” cousins and my in-laws will get to have their Seder this year with all of their grandchildren. There are no grandiose plans set for the first few days, other than eat, sleep, walk, talk and loll around in the pool.

Before you know it, the kids will be parents and hopefully they will one day sit with their kids, sharing stories of what it was like “before you were born,” while creating new lifetime memories for a new generation.

Wishing all a (if you observe) a wonderful Passover holiday, full of everything you know and love, and some new things, too.


About Alan

F---ing Cancer since 2011.
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6 Responses to That’s not the way WE do it.

  1. Wendyb says:

    As always, you are spot on with your observations and “epiphany” of which you’ve had and shared many with all of us. Instilling memories for the next gen is not only important for family tradition but for our Jewish heritage as well. Those smells and songs of the seder are the glue that bonds us all. Perhaps that Charoset is representative of more than just mortar for the bricks but holds together generation after generation.
    I am thrilled to hear you will all be celebrating the holiday with Channah and Zvi. Please be sure to pass along our love to everyone. Thinking of you and wishing you all our very best.

  2. Chaim silva says:

    Enjoy your family time We’ve also done a family Seder and now onto a family vacation Speak to you soon to share stories and create the new memories. Chaim and Tammy

  3. lovefaith2000 says:

    Sounds great to me! I hope it was a beautiful holiday with the family!

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