With just a few hours to go before we sit down to our traditional Passover Seder, I ponder that Jewish holidays – with all their traditions (read: “favorite foods”) – can prove to be exercises in negotiation, accommodation and capitulation. Perhaps none more so than Passover.
Assuming both halves of a couple come from traditional backgrounds, each will have his or her “own” way of doing things. And, truth be told, deviating from that with which one grew up is, understandably, uncomfortable.
But, this year, I had an epiphany.
Saying something like: “That’s not the way we do it” is a backward-looking statement. As a parent, I recognize my job isn’t to recreate what I grew up with – albeit wonderful, warm and delicious – for my children, but rather to make sure THEY create their own lifetime memories, around the sights, smells and tastes they are now experiencing.
In a few minutes we will pack up the car and drive to a house my in-laws rented for their three children and all their families. My kids will get to hang with all of their “mommy-side” cousins and my in-laws will get to have their Seder this year with all of their grandchildren. There are no grandiose plans set for the first few days, other than eat, sleep, walk, talk and loll around in the pool.
Before you know it, the kids will be parents and hopefully they will one day sit with their kids, sharing stories of what it was like “before you were born,” while creating new lifetime memories for a new generation.
Wishing all a (if you observe) a wonderful Passover holiday, full of everything you know and love, and some new things, too.