Ain’t no going back

Rebeca, a blogger friend of mine, pens The Small C, about her experience since her cancer diagnosis at age 32.  Her most recent post raises an excellent question: if she had the ability to erase the memory and experience of being diagnosed with cancer, would she want to?

I know my answer: a resounding NO!

Understandably and without question, cancer has changed my life and the lives of those closest to me.  I make decisions differently these days, as do my closest friends and family.  Some people have pleasantly surprised me and others have done nothing other than disappoint.

Sure, my life revolves daily around having cancer, which acts as the foil against which every thing I do every day is reflected.  But, in so many ways, my quality of life has never been better.

Let me say that again: my quality of life has never been better.

I like to think that cancer has made me a better husband, father and friend.  And, quite frankly, I like the guy I am today.

Without a doubt, I’d prefer not to have had cancer at all, but that’s not the question.  While cancer is never a good thing, like anything else, how one deals with it is the key.  Perhaps once or twice over the past few years I have actually become momentarily distraught but, overall, I’ve taken it in stride and, as much as possible, made the best of it.  My approach to treatment and my general outlook have been resolutely realistic and neither rosy nor bleak.  This is the only approach that makes any sense to me.

This is the hand I’ve been dealt and, thankfully, I’ve been given the resources to handle it well.

About Alan

F---ing Cancer since 2011.
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14 Responses to Ain’t no going back

  1. Simon Solnica says:

    alan this is by far the most beautiful post that i have read. you never cease to amaze me. we love you both. we love you shimon and amy

    • Alan says:

      Shim and Amy – Thank you so much for the kind words. Kudos really, though, to my friend and comrade-in-arms, Rebeca, who wrote the original post to which I refer, and to friends like you!

  2. Tammi Kale says:

    Yes, having been there and there now myself, I agree wholeheartedly. Given the choice – I would most definitely would have said no cancer, but now that it’s a part of my life – the blessings and perspectives I’ve gained from it would probably never have graced my life without it. Great post.

  3. Aminadav Grossman says:

    Thanks for your thoughts Uncle Alan. It’s definitely an admirable and inspiring perspective.

  4. Ilana says:

    We like the guy you are too. But we liked you before too. Yes. I did say ‘We ‘

  5. thesmallc says:

    Alan, beautifully said. I am happy that in a way cancer has had a positive effect in your life and that you like the person you turned out to be because of this experience. I wish I felt the same way, but even with all my complaints, I wouldn’t erase the memory of having gone through cancer. Thank you for your support.

    • Alan says:

      Glad we agree! You and I are cut from the same cloth…we want/need to talk about it, be public. I’d be surprised if someone who is like us wouldn’t want to preserve the experience, in some way.

  6. Sharon says:

    Beautiful words from a special guy before and now. Enjoy your amazing wife and kids.

  7. Orly Tzion says:

    holy cow are you amazing, and I am not kidding in the least. I can’t say I’ve ever had a “role model” in life (not quite sure why – topic for another discussion – or not ;), but with this latest post you are coming dangerously close to being my first. how crazy is that?

    with an incredible amount of admiration, Orly


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